In Chnlove Club (i.e. www.chnlove.com, also called “chinalove.com“), it is easy to get carried away by the gorgeous photos of the ladies, and some gentlemen may think they have fallen in love “at first sight”, or after exchanging a few letters. Actually, love is not something that happens over night. If it comes on too strong, it can burn out just as fast. So whatever you decide, take caution in your actions, and don’t make any quick decisions.
Make sure it’s the person you love and not the idea or image in your mind
First of all, don’t ever consider yourself being “in love” after merely viewing a few retouched photos and reading a few sweet letters. Being over impressed by still images on a PC screen and a few letters could be setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s far easier to fall in love with an idea and a dream than it is to fall in love with a person. Most online “love” is the love of an idea or a dream, or just in love with being in love. There are a lot of cases where people believe they are in love online, and find that there is nothing there when they meet in person, just a fading dream as reality wakes them up. So don’t let desperation to be cared about by a woman cloud your judgement. Falling in love on the internet does not happen over night. Slow down and use your mind to make serious life decisions.
Of course, many online relationships end up happy and successful. The trick is to make sure you ask the right questions, so that you can have an accurate idea of what she is really like. For example, you can ask her some realistic questions about her view on marriage and the future with you. Her answers can be quite revealing, and you can decide from there whether she meets your expectations. Be as honest as possible, and remember to ask for up-to-date, outdoor, full-body pictures, so that there are no surprises when you meet.
Be careful with saying the “L” word
There are a lot of different meanings to the word “love”, and different people have different perception of “love” and “being in love”. Nevertheless, everyone on Chnlove is hoping that their online relationships will develop into love, and has the impulse to express love someway or sometime.
However, you should be careful with timing, because most Chinese women do not trust foreigners who proclaim love not backed by action and time. It is more the actions that will determine your love rather than the words. In fact, if you say “I love you” in a letter after a short time, it could be a big turn-off for them. Love takes time to grow and it would be irresponsible to say “I love you” too soon. It is advisable to leave it till you meet the lady in person, when you’re sure that she is the one for you.